Imagine a Hunter S. Thompson assignment rerouted to Seinfeld's George Costanza.

Every week, I try out a different occupation, hobby or lifestyle I'm unqualified to handle. I'm talking utterly unqualified here.

Readers call me brave for all the dangerous, humiliating and disgusting tasks I seek out. But I'm really a chicken&*#%. That's the point. I'm not man enough to tackle anything remotely uncomfortable in real life. So I use my column to force myself to face my fears.

It's therapy, only public. And cheaper.